Exploration

I've been getting behind on this blog again, but fortunately I have not been behind on making art. I started reading some interviews of artists I admire lately and it has really made me re-evaluate the way I've approached making art in my own practice. I often come up with a project for myself and feel confined in its parameters. I think "I started working on this project and I should not move onto any other new projects that I'm thinking of until I finish this one."

The problem with thinking this way is that often, when I've worked on something for a while I loose enthusiasm for it and end up wanting a change because I simply want something new to look at with my eyes. An example would be my matryoshkas. I've worked on them for a while and painted ten paintings of them. While each painting was very different from the one that came before, and they were getting more and more complex each time it still felt repetitive to my brain because the overall concept and style of execution were very similar. But because I did not permit myself to switch into a new concept and body of work I simply slowed down in making any art at all.

While I was working on that series I have had MANY new ideas come up for new projects I'd like to work on, but each time I'd backlog them, thinking they're good, but I must paint everyone I ever wanted to paint as a matryoshka first. But there are SO many amazing, talented, lovely, beautiful and kind people that I want to paint that it seems like getting them all down may take a lifetime and I may never complete the project absolutely.

In the two interviews I read recently, one of Mab Graves and the other of Ray Caesar, both artists mentioned that some projects took them years to complete. I think one of the artists referred to a whole body of work as a project, while another artist referred to single pieces of work as projects. Reading this made me realize that I'm being too rigid and need to loosen up because I'm denying myself the opportunity to expand and play with my art and become more versatile in my repertoire. I also think that finding my own, cohesive voice as an artist will come to me faster if I will allow myself to play with my many works of art.

I think I've developed a self discipline that is so strong that I don't really need to fear the possibility of starting too many things and not finishing any of them, which I think was a major fear I used to have. I have great expectations for my new approach.

I work as a substitute at a high school and often times I've found myself reading for up to six hours of my day because in higher grades there's not such a need for constant interaction with the kids like there is with elementary schools. I've finally came to the realization that I can also be drawing in my sketchbook during that time rather than just reading. Coupled with my new desire to explore multiple projects simultaneously this should be a great breakthrough in the motion of my progress.

Here's something I started yesterday and finished today...