Back from Tea with the Velveteen Rabbit

Okay, so this blog is pretty much like my art diary, I use it to go into more detail about my work and the process it goes through and what inspires me. If someone is reading this and finds it interesting, then I'm very happy, because I'd like to share my thoughts with a greater community. I also like to hear feedback on my thoughts, although I've had a very minimal amount of response to my blogs, but maybe someday that will change.

Regardless, keeping track of my thoughts in relation to my art helps me keep on track and accountable to myself in my work progress. I know I've mentioned this in prior posts. In Russia we say "repetition is the mother of learning" and I find it very useful. It's nice to look back on prior posts and relish my accomplishments. It's also very useful to look back on any ideas or reflections in the past posts that are applicable to my future work because often I forget them and a record helps me stay focused and progressive.

So with those forethougths out of the way, I'd like to say a little bit about my Veleveteen Rabbit. This piece started as a sketch on one of my long days of subbing at the Tucson High School. Often the classes there are such that the sub is left with very little to do except just be present and on those days I read or sketched a lot. So I started sketching a rabbit drinking tea and didn't think it would turn into anything much. But after I finished my loose sketch I really liked the layout I came up with and decided to paint over it.

As I started painting, I kept in mind the detail and depth of the paintings I admire in some of the pop surrealist culture that has propped up in the art world in the past 100 years or so. I decided I will do my best to imitate the level of technique that I see in rendering eyes and textures and shadows. I see many painters that are able to depict something completely imaginary in such realistic shadows and tones that it impresses me a lot even if I don't like the subject matter. That's what I was going for.

I feel that the bunny came very close to the quality of aesthetic/technique I was looking for. Perhaps some of the inanimate objects could use a little more practice, specifically the table cloth, which I don't think is believable as a real object, as well as the table plant, and maybe just the entire setting. But I'll stay strong in my belief that the bunny came pretty close to being as real as a tea drinking bunny with purple fur can possibly be.

I feel that this piece of art is a stepping stone for me. It really shows where I want to go with my art. I am envisioning fantastical scenarios that are believable to the human eye, not in subject matter but in rendition. I'm also envisioning a human-animal hybrid. I'm not sure why but I really enjoy giving animals human characteristics, hands, like you see in this painting, are a common component of my animal characters. Often I also give animals human feet or human faces or just human eyes.
These believable human-animal hybrids live in worlds that are also realistic-fantasy hybrids.

Although the Velveteen Rabbit is not perfection relative to what I'm trying to accomplish, it is closer than I've ever been before, and I'm very excited about it.

Birth of a New Art Series

I wanted to stay on track with posting to this blog, but then life happened and I had to reconsider my priorities. With a baby on the way I've had to try to work more, exercise more, make music and vacation with my husband before life changes forever. So I did all the other things to prepare, but now I'm in my final stretch, just under three weeks left before the due date, and my will power to be active has depleted. I just stay home as much as I can, move as little as I can get away with, leaving me with some time to write a blog entry.

So the most recent new series I've come up with is actually not that new. The concept was born in 2008. I was doing stop motion animation internships in LA for that summer and I can't remember why, but for some reason I started drawing these creatures that I called the gipsy pirate octopi. Most of them were musicians wearing pirate and gipsy attire holding instruments, pirate flags, dancing with tambourines and other such nonsense. I ended up painting a couple of my friends as the creatures and doing one banner painting that I used to use for my blog. I've lost most of the old sketches I did but I do still have a few so here's how it began:

The image above was the very first, original gipsy pirate octopus. The story started with him. 

After some sketches, I used markers and some minimal painting to create pictures like the one above. Sadly I have lost them all, this image of one of my friends as an octopus is the only one that survives, and only as a low-rez file. In 2008 I had visions of painting entire cityscapes with these creatures and I imagined animations of them and day dreamt about them following me around in LA as I travelled through the metropolitan area daily to find my way to the studios I worked at using the public transportation system. But then life took a sharp turn in a different direction and my day dreams came to a halt.

Around 2012 I was already in UC Davis studying for my Master in Education and for Valentine's day I made the guy above using Adobe Illustrator and handed out the cards to the children in the classroom where I student taught.

Finally, in 2017, Tony and I started our band which was the name sake of my original branding concept (in fact I never did relinquish that title and have used it for my art related internet presence rather consistently). Above is the first sketch I did for our very first gig, using pencil and marker.

In 2018 we planned and executed our very last gig before the coming of the new baby. For that event I painted the above image.

Next I decided I needed to do a sister painting for our very favorite friend and fan of the band, Heather Guido. In her honor I did the piece above. 

I think the progression of these images shows a growth in the development of this concept as a series. I'm envisioning a series of paintings along the lines of my matryoshkas, where I'd use people I know as inspiration for the character development of individual octopi paintings. 

Exploration

I've been getting behind on this blog again, but fortunately I have not been behind on making art. I started reading some interviews of artists I admire lately and it has really made me re-evaluate the way I've approached making art in my own practice. I often come up with a project for myself and feel confined in its parameters. I think "I started working on this project and I should not move onto any other new projects that I'm thinking of until I finish this one."

The problem with thinking this way is that often, when I've worked on something for a while I loose enthusiasm for it and end up wanting a change because I simply want something new to look at with my eyes. An example would be my matryoshkas. I've worked on them for a while and painted ten paintings of them. While each painting was very different from the one that came before, and they were getting more and more complex each time it still felt repetitive to my brain because the overall concept and style of execution were very similar. But because I did not permit myself to switch into a new concept and body of work I simply slowed down in making any art at all.

While I was working on that series I have had MANY new ideas come up for new projects I'd like to work on, but each time I'd backlog them, thinking they're good, but I must paint everyone I ever wanted to paint as a matryoshka first. But there are SO many amazing, talented, lovely, beautiful and kind people that I want to paint that it seems like getting them all down may take a lifetime and I may never complete the project absolutely.

In the two interviews I read recently, one of Mab Graves and the other of Ray Caesar, both artists mentioned that some projects took them years to complete. I think one of the artists referred to a whole body of work as a project, while another artist referred to single pieces of work as projects. Reading this made me realize that I'm being too rigid and need to loosen up because I'm denying myself the opportunity to expand and play with my art and become more versatile in my repertoire. I also think that finding my own, cohesive voice as an artist will come to me faster if I will allow myself to play with my many works of art.

I think I've developed a self discipline that is so strong that I don't really need to fear the possibility of starting too many things and not finishing any of them, which I think was a major fear I used to have. I have great expectations for my new approach.

I work as a substitute at a high school and often times I've found myself reading for up to six hours of my day because in higher grades there's not such a need for constant interaction with the kids like there is with elementary schools. I've finally came to the realization that I can also be drawing in my sketchbook during that time rather than just reading. Coupled with my new desire to explore multiple projects simultaneously this should be a great breakthrough in the motion of my progress.

Here's something I started yesterday and finished today...

My Etsy Shop

Today I'd like to put to record that I finally made my first sale on my Etsy Shop yesterday! About a year ago I was commissioned to paint one of Tucson's talented bassoonists as a matryoshka by her husband for her birthday. Yesterday her husband also bought three of my cards. Thank you!

I strive to succeed as an artist and that is why I utilize several online platforms to make my art available for viewing to as wide an audience as possible. Here's a list of them all:

Facebook Page: Gipsy Pirate Octopi or Margaritabrosovaart
Instagram: @margaritabrosova
Online Portfolio: mbrosova.myportfolio.com
Etsy Shop: margaritabrosovaart.etsy.com

While two stores in Tucson do carry my art cards, Old Paint Records Shop at the Old Town Artisan's and Petroglyphs in the Lost Barrio, I prefer to sell my own product because I do make more money that way. I found out last year that selling my cards to a retailer has almost no profit for me if you take into account the travel time it takes me to go a drop the product off as well as the time it takes to package the cards before bringing them to the stores. But I do it anyways because the goal is to have as many people see my art as possible, so if they see it in the store that's great too.

I think about how I'm going to make it in this art business/career dream I have, and I try to imagine what my end goal is and I must admit, I actually have no idea what will get me there because I don't yet have a very clear vision of what I'd like to do exactly. It's hard to go after something if you don't know what it is. I remember in one of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies Captain Jack Sparrows has a compass that will only take you where you want to go if you know exactly where that is. I feel like in life having a clear vision or a dream is like that. It's impossible to attain a dream if you do not know exactly what it is.

So I am now very aware of my challenge to really take the time and decide what I want to do. I know I want to illustrate books, but I'm often not sure if I want to illustrate books for other authors, or if I want to attempt writing myself. I also often question weather illustrating books is something that I will be happy doing, because it seems constricting to work on one story for several illustrations, right now I just paint whatever I want, but if my job is to illustrate then I have an assignment I must do which is very different from doing whatever I want.

I do know that selling my own art on Etsy is something that I'd like to be successful at, although I don't think it's my ultimate goal. I think of it as a step in achieving success artistically and also it's a challenge to run as a business and I like challenges.

I will conclude with posting the three cards that were purchased:

Baron Munchausen and his Stories

I am hopeful that by next Sunday I will finish my last two blank ornaments that are still left over. I'm a bit perplexed as to who I will give them away to. I think I have given all the gifts that I can think of for this year's holidays and can think of no one else to give an ornament to. The one I'm posting today is a gift to one of my favorite people in the world and I'm glad it will be decking her walls along with her other beautiful art collection.

This past week I have also made some significant progress with finally getting some of my greeting cards printed for my Etsy shop and for the two stores in town that carry them. Old Town Records shop at the Old Town Artisans and Petroglyph in the Lost Barrio both have my cards for sale and I'm told that they sell pretty well and that a replenishment of the stock is needed. I'm hoping that someday I'll have that problem on the Etsy shop. So far I've had it for longer than a year and NEVER sold anything. This time I picked some of my most liked art work and got prints of that for greeting cards and I hope that someday soon I'll make my first sale.

This time I'm posting the first of the new series of ornaments that are black with white art painted on top. The image was inspired by one of Baron Munchausen's tall tales where he was out hunting but didn't have any bullets. He decided to use a cherry pit for a bullet and shot a deer in the forehead. The deer ran away and a year later he saw a deer with a tree of cherry blossoms growing between its antlers.

Gamaun

Today I'm posting the final of my ornaments from the series I did for Christmas. After this I have just a few more that are painted post holidays and are of a different style. I'm still planning to take up illustrating Gogol's story "The Terrible Revenge" after I finish this project, so I'm really excited that it's finally coming to an end.

For today's slavic mythological creature we have the Gamayun (or Gamaun). She is prominent in Slavic folklore and is said to possess a lovely singing voice and a beautiful complexion. Symbolizing wisdom, harmony, and knowledge, she also knows a thing or two about the secrets of humanity and the creation of the world. Unfortunately, though, she won't let any of the secrets slip.

Not only is Gamayun extremely beautiful and wise, she is also capable of predicting the future and telling fortunes.

The Firebird

I am happy to say that I finally started painting again today. In my last blog entry I confessed that it was almost two weeks since I've drawn or painted anything. Having put that down in writing made me feel accountable, like I have to make sure and paint before the next time I write. So I did. Today I finished two more ornaments, just one more to go!

Today I'm posting one of the older ones. It is of the firebird. According to Wikipedia the firebird "is a magical glowing bird from a faraway land, which is both a blessing and a bringer of doom to its captor. Some believe it can see the future. It is described as a large bird with majestic plumage that glows brightly emitting red, orange, and yellow light, like a bonfire that is just past the turbulent flame. The feathers do not cease glowing if removed, and one feather can light a large room if not concealed. It is beautiful but dangerous showing no sign of friendliness."


I knew all that myself, but it's easier to copy and paste what's already been written rather than recreate the wheel every time. 

Chicken Foot House

I'm ashamed to say that I have not painted or drawn anything for about a week now, maybe even two! It's partially because I got really burnt out on panting all those ornaments, it took a lot out of me because I had to come up with so many different ideas AND execute them all in such a short span of time. Another reason is the performance with my band, Gipsy Pirate Octopi. I took a few days to prepare myself mentally and musically for it, but also it really got me off on a track of practicing music everyday. I've actually been learning a lot on the piano and finally figured out how to make any chord I want now, using the piano keys. Something that I didn't really have to know for the accordion, because if I want to press a chord I just have to press the button that's that chord and I don't ever need to know which notes make it so.

Anyways...Today I came across an old post on this blog that spoke of an illustration I did back when I was in Russia, this summer, for one of my favorite fairytales ever, "The Terrible Revenge", by Gogol. The post reminded me of the fact that there's that other project I started working on quite a while ago and that there's no reason not to get back to it even though I'm still in the midst of the matryoshkas. Working on the ornaments in the saturated way that I did made me see how being stuck in one mode really stifles me, and I think it's a good idea to distract myself and my imagination for a short while by investing myself in a different project and then simply coming back to the matryoshkas refreshed and hopefully inspired with some new perspective.

For now, I'm posting another of the ornaments. This one is of the famous house on chicken feet that the equally famous baba-yaga lives in. There is more than one Baba Yaga and more than one house on chicken feet in the Russian fairy world. On Wikipedia I read that the reason the chicken foot house came about is that back in the day houses in Russia were often stood up on stilts or stumps because of the watery and boggy nature of the land, so that the house won't rot. I also have a memory of either being told or reading somewhere (although I don't remember where or by who) that the house is representative of coffins where people were buried in ancient Russia, also on stilts, because in pagan times it was considered bad to bury the dead in watery graves. So since the terrain was so watery, they buried the dead on stilts.

In the fairy tales Baba Yaga is often described as sitting in her house with her nose grown into the ceiling. This is a connotation of being in a tight space where you're on your back and your nose touching the ceiling is like a coffin...She and her house are representative of the other world, the dead world. It is also often said that the house is without windows or doors. Also coffin-like...

In this image in particular her house is also surrounded by the bones and sculls of people she'd eaten. A scene from one of my favorite childhood fairytales, Vasilisa the Beautiful.

Matryoshkas, Babies and Music

Yesterday was filled with blissful laziness after we accomplished our performance at the Dusty Monk on Saturday. Our playing and my singing seemed much improved since our first performance. I was pleased with our efforts and progress. I think the public enjoyed it as well. It definitely took a lot out of me. I was especially stressed out and trying to focus really hard on playing the accordion and singing at the same time in a very loud environment, where I could hardly hear the notes that I was making. But I got through it and decided that we've gotten good enough to play in spaces that are quite enough to hear us well.

Today I'm still posting yet another of my ornaments from Christmas, the flow is never ending. The matryoshka is up this time, a symbol of maternity and very fitting for the moment as I entertain the possibility of playing music as my baby arrives into the world outside of my womb. I've been imagining myself strapping the baby to my back, the accordion to my front and playing a gig. Katy Carr told me she was imagining something similar (with the base I assume), but it never happened. I think I'll just keep imagining it anyways, even if it's not going to happened. Maybe I'll paint it.

Russian Christmas

Today Tony and I are performing at the Dusty Monk in order to celebrate Russian Christmas here, in HOT Tucson, Arizona. I called my grandmother, who is in COLD St. Petersburg, Russia, to wish her a Merry Christmas and talk to her a little, since that is all we can do with an ocean between us. I realized a few days ago that when I left Russia this summer I bought my tickets in a great rush because I missed my husband so much after being away for almost two months that I didn't even realize that in only one more month it was going to be her birthday.

Knowing that I missed her birthday by a month in a situation that was not in all actuality a matter of emergency made me feel like I missed out on an opportunity in life to celebrate with her for the first time in 20 years. There were many things I did this summer with her that were magical and helped me reconnect with my country and my grandmother, but I still feel like I should not have rushed. She is 84 years old now and ever opportunity I get to see her may be my last. With the coming of my baby son I have been thinking a lot of a wish I have.

I want to be able to take him to Russia so she can meet him. My grandma may live to be a 100 years old or more for all I know, but I wouldn't like to find myself wishing I didn't miss out on an opportunity to connect with her if it does turn out to be too late. So as soon as it is feasible, I plan on taking the trip. For now, I'd like to post two of the many wonderful photos I took on this trip. I love these especially because of the festive table and scarves. This was taking in the last few weeks before my departure. We were splurging on the best caviar in town that we could possibly afford. After eating twice, though, we had enough.

This is probably what we would be doing today if I was in Russia with my grandmother, celebrating Christmas.

These photos remind me of on of my favorite Russian artists, Kustodiev. Below is one of his beautiful paintings. I'm working my way up to a series of paintings I'd like to do inspired by his themes and some of the photos I've taken in Russia with my grandmother at the table in the past as well as some of my beautiful Tucson lady friends. Something that's been in the works on my mind for a while now.

Спасибо Чибурашка (Thank You, Cheburashka)

As promised, I am posting one of my hand painted ornaments that I completed this gifting season. I was planning on only painting 5 by Christmas day because there were five different family members/couples that would all get one ornament that day. When I was working on this particular one, though, my husband came home and fell in love with it. It's a scene from the cartoon Cheburashka, where Crocodile Gena sings a song called the Blue Train. 

My husband and I started learning/playing that song about a month or two ago and whenever he would watch the video of it on YouTube he would repeat the words "Спасибо Чибурашка" because the recording begins with Crocodile Gena thanking Cheburashka for joining him during his song (I think, I don't remember for sure). Tony always says that's his first complete sentence in Russian. 

I decided to work really hard on making a sixth ornament so that I could give this one to Tony. Each ornament took me an entire day to complete so it was very difficult to manage this during the busy season of buying gifts, baking cup cakes and going to Tony's multiple musical gigs. But I am very happy that I managed it. And I'm posting it today in honor of our upcoming performance at the Dusty Monk where we will be performing this very song in two days.

Thoughts

As I follow other artists on Instagram whose art I find similar in style to mine own it's inspiring to see them succeed and talk of their achievements in the new years posts where they thank the last year for all the good fortunes it brought to their lives and careers. Today I read the post of an artists who goes by @melissa.castrillon on instagram and she mentioned how this year she got married and her first three books got published.

So I looked back on my year. I got married to a man I love a lot who is very supportive of my artistic endeavors and all my interests in life. I am also now with child and expecting to have a baby boy in May of 2018. I have painted many paintings this year and sold quite a few. Tony and I had our first gig as our brand new band The Gypsy Pirate Octopi and soon will have another performance on January 6th, 2018.

Below is my favorite picture from our wedding. I love it because it reminds me of a Soviet Era film I love a lot called Табр Уходит в Небо (Gypsies are Found in Heaven is a loose translation of the title). The film itself has a very tragic ending, but it's full of free spirit and passion and I feel like this photo has some of that in it, also it has a Soviet sort of aesthetic to it. Zoey, Tony's daughter, found some toy handcuffs at our host's house and cuffed us after the ceremony, hence the photo.

Progress of an Artist

Okay, so before the year is over I do have some art to share. Today I went back over the entries I've done in this blog and I noticed that I skip many pieces of art that I do without ever posting them on here. I've never had a New Year's resolution before, but I'll make an exception this year and hope that next year I will do a better job at keeping my blog updated with my art as I continue to create new pieces.

About a week or two ago I had a conversation with my friend who is very integral to the support system of my pursuit of a career as an illustrator/artist. He has been immensely encouraging and he asked me "why is it that you work on so many projects that are indirect to your attaining a job as an illustrator instead of just getting to the part where you actually just sit down and illustrate a story so you have that for your portfolio?" About two days later my mom asked me the exact same thing, only in much more urgent tones.

I had the same answer for both of them. I work on all these other projects because I feel that they will lead me to a better developed artistic style and mastery of technique. They help me practice concept development slowly. Rather than forcing myself to work on a story and be inspired by the same set of characters for an extended period of time, I am training myself to be inspired constantly but instead of being limited by a storyline, I am only limited by a set of parameters much wider so as to train my brain to create images without overloading it with too many limitations at once.

I think back on the summer I interned at some Stop Motion Animation studios. All the people that I did end up getting close to who gave me a small window into their perception of their job basically told me that because they're working on a collaborative project that is not their own, they feel constricted artistically within their job and prefer to work in lower stress studios where they have ample personal time to create their own personal projects at home so as to have artistic freedom and expression of their own.

I think that experience and knowledge has led me to almost fear being trapped in such a job. An illustration job where I feel trapped by someone else's imagination. It's like that compass in one of the Pirate of the Caribbean movies. It only takes you where you want to go, but it can only do it when you know EXACTLY where that is. Right now I'm in a state where I'm not certain of what exactly I want to achieve as an artist, and maybe I'll never find out and continue to work on my own projects occasionally selling something here and there. Which would be fine. But I hope that my vision will crystalize and take me to an end game, a new beginning of a career that I will love.

This Christmas I worked on some ornaments for my family to give as gifts. I'm going to post one a day so as to not visually overload my post. The one below is an image that I did not create myself, I must admit. I really like ships but I'm not very savvy in drawing them yet, so I looked onto the cover of a book I am currently reading, We the Drowned. This exact image is on the cover of the book and I really liked it, so I simply copied it. This is one of the baby steps I sometimes take to learn to draw something new. I copy it. After copying enough of the same thing I begin to get a better sense of my own take on the object of my art and while I may use references from photos, I still create my own image. Not this time though. Although I did use gold leaf, and that was not part of the book cover, which was black and white.

 

Pirates!

Life has had many changes in the past 5 months since I've been back from Russia. I got pregnant and found out recently that I'm going to have a son. My husband and I did our first gig together at the Dusty Monk playing as the Gipsy Pirate Octopi after planning on it basically since the month we met.    We had an art show with some of the Citizens Warehouse artists. And of course other life things happened in between those events.

About three months ago I started painting a very special painting for a friend who was gracious enough to offer to use his beautiful home to host our wedding. I promised him a matryoshka of himself in March of this year as a thank you for hosting. But as I continued to make matryoshka of other friends and family, my paintings became gradually larger and more and more complex.

Originally I started painting small pieces, just 4 x 4 inches, with only one central figure and some ornate folk designs.

This was the first first in the series, 4x4"

After doing a few more I ran out of the small scraps of watercolor paper I was working with and found a larger piece of watercolor scrap paper and immediately I added architecture because there was space for it.

This was the 6th in the series. 6.5x7"

But this was the only scrap of watercolor paper I had in that size, so the next painting I did had to be on a larger sheet from a pad. I did three at 12x16" and each time they seemed to be more time consuming.

This was 9th in the series. 12x16"

When I came around to painting the gift I promised to Chris Stamos I wanted outdo myself. Partially because I wanted to show him my gratitude because I love my husband very much and our wedding was so beautiful and all things related to it I want to be beautiful, including the gift that I give to our friend for opening up his home to our celebration. Also, after seeing what I can do in the painting above I wanted to do something even better, I want to evolve as an artist, even if I am doing Matryoshkas, I want each one to be better than the next. 

I worked intermittently because so many things were happening, I was already in my first trimester and it proved very difficult to work on anything during that time as I wanted to sleep most of the time. Also, I had to spend quite a bit of time rehearsing with Tony and practicing the accordion on my own as well. But finally I finished my latest masterpiece!

10th in the series, 15x20"

Artistic Analysis: a Farewell to an Old Painting

Wow, it's been a long time since I wrote my last post! I guess I got busy. Trying to work a side job in education and develop an artistic career at the same time makes it hard to keep up with social media. Last weekend though, I did get to stay in my brand spanking new studio during Open Studio Tours and work on my latest piece while visitors trickled in and out.

I sold a painting that I did a long time ago, in 2010! I loved getting rid of it. Although it is one was of my favorites, it has been around a long time and I hoped that someday someone else would take over its care.

This piece is called Jealousy and I painted it right after the following small occurrence: I was hanging out with a friend who'd recently broke up with a girlfriend of his whom I never met. Suddenly, for the first time ever, she decided to visit unexpectedly since the break up. He never told me about her, because we'd become friends only recently, and so I had no idea who she was, but I could tell that something was wrong due to her pensive manner and her carefully observant glances of me. I just couldn't understand what the problem was. After she left, he explained to me what was happening and it all made sense.

So then I made this drawing/painting, and although I did not set out with the intention of depicting this event, it turned out that the image closely resembled the situation. On the left is a little child like spirit, representing carefree joy. Next to the child is a lady who has wild hair, and a fun polka dot dress with unusual blue lip stick, she is a symbolic representation of myself at the time. Next is a man with a long orange beard who seems awkward and lost, that's my friend, he didn't have a long beard but he did have reddish hair and large blue eyes, and he did feel awkward and trapped. Lastly there's a lady who seems very prim and proper and has a bit of a judgmental expression on her face. That's my friend's ex-girlfriend.

Some other details: there's a glass of juice labeled so in Russian, standing on the table between the child spirit and myself, I think that is representative of innocence in contrast to the bottle of vodka, labeled so in Russian, standing between my friend and his ex, which I think represents some darker, heavier emotion. Also, something you can't see in this image but is evident in the original, is there's a snake that slithers along the bottom of the entire painting, and I think this snake represents the poisonous nature of the relationship my friend described to me after his ex left.

None of this analysis was in my conscious mind while I made the image. It was only after I was done with it and showed it to my friend that we were able to analyze and come up with all the parallels.

Revisiting Old Sketches

About a year ago my husband bought me some watercolor pencils as a gift. It set me off on a large portrait spree and I used them to draw/paint 6 pieces from live subjects. I did close studies of the people I was drawing and I loved using the pencils because I haven't used pencils since I was a teenager and always thought of it as an inferior medium because it was so simple to use. But being older and wiser I realized that easier is not so bad. I like it when things are easy sometimes, it's like a bonus in life.

It is a very rare occasion for me to sketch and one day I had a brand new watercolor pad sitting in front of me, 15x20 inches and I though, what the hell, why not try to do a quick self portrait study but not worry too much about being realistic. I ended up with an expressionistic portrait of myself that I rather liked. It took me about an hour maybe a little longer to sketch it and I put it aside and never looked at it again.

A week ago I opened that pad planning to use it for the my next piece and saw the old sketch. I didn't want to waste the paper and didn't want to detach it from the pad either. It's a block pad and helps keep the paper from warping when getting it wet so I decided to finish the painting. I started off with just a blueish face. After brushing water over the pencil I added a pattern to the background imitating wall paper using a fabric pattern I have from some curtains I made a while back.

In the spirit of coming back to old things I decided to revisit gold/silver/whatever... leafing. I used this medium a lot during college. I loved the reflective texture and the meticulous process of applying the adhesive, laying the leaf and brushing off the excesses in intricate patterns. I thought this would be a visually impressive but an intellectually simple way of adding something to the piece.

While applying the silver leaf I had much time to contemplate the piece. I think perhaps this is one reason I love the tentative, time consuming mediums. While doing something that is repetitive I have plenty of time to think of things and come up with ideas that may improve either my art, or life in general. In this instance I remembered that all my portraits had unrealistic colors. I always started my portraits with a color scheme in mind and for each color in the scheme I would assign a value, so that instead of using a grey scale for shadows and highlights, or just a value scale in a similar color range I would invent my own value scale using different colors.

In this painting the scale from darkest to lightest is as follows: blue, red, yellow and white.

For the past few months I considered this practice and recognized that in many paintings this sort of approach would be defined as the underpainting. After adding various hews to create depth and represent any reflected colors an artist might add a layer of skin tones. I've been basically dreaming of the day that I could accomplish this level of complexity. This painting having taken me very little time thus far was a good candidate for experimentation. And so I took a peach colored pencil and simply went over every part of the skin and added a thick layer of what was the closest color I had in my collection of pencils to my own skin tone. I was very pleased with the results.

The Artistic Process

About three months ago I had a freelance job for a lady who lives in New York. She is a costume designer and was working on costumes for Disney Land in Tokyo, Japan. She provided me with very detailed, photoshop generated mock ups of the costumes she designed and I was to paint them on paper. She later explained to me that I was simply filling in a small portion of her artistic process. First she would design the costumes and plan their colors. Then I would use her computer mock ups and swatches to create the colors on paper. It turns out that the costume makers would use my drawings for color matching rather than the computer generated mock ups because the computer screen shines light through the image and it makes it very hard to interpret the colors in the real world. So my work basically made her imagination's ideal easier to interpret for the costume makers. Then the costumes were going to be made using white material. Then adjustments and remakes would be made. And then, finally, the actual materials would be used to make the actual costumes.

Sometimes one of my paintings for her would take about 20 or more hours to finish. It wasn't because I was slow, but because it was painstakingly time consuming to mix the right shades of colors, check with her via text and photos weather or not the colors were correct and often times repainting the same vestige 4 or more times until I would get the color right. She had something like 60 of those kinds of images, if I remember correctly. I did not get to paint all of them, but I painted quite a few, I think about 16 and it was very time consuming. The incredible thing was that I was not even providing her with a finished product of her brain child. I was only one cog in a big wheel of an artistic process that led to the eventual completion of the project. After working for her and getting insight into her very intricate and time consuming process I came to a realization that there really was no cutting corners when you wanted to get a thing done right.

I've always been under the impression that I should learn to make my paintings quicker. I like to have intricate details, but I should somehow accelerate the making of the details by figuring out some way where they're suggested rather than carefully depicted. Now I know that if I like to have intricate details I should come to terms that those details will take some time to create and it's okay that it will take many hours, because that's how long a thing takes to make if I want it done the way I envision it in my brain. I think my latest piece really shows growth in my willingness to do what I endeavor to accomplish. I've certainly done other paintings in my life that took as long and were quite intricate, but I think this has a larger diversity in depth and pattern and I hope that my next pieces continue to improve.

This current work has taken me at least 30 hours to paint if not longer. A very basic run down of my process is that I choose images to reference when I decide to paint something. Then I combine various elements and use those images when necessary to look at. I use many rulers, compasses and right angles. I switch from tiny to larger brushes and back to tiny ones depending on the size of the surface area I am painting. Sometimes I look at a book of my favorite artist to help me with technique or to simply inspire myself when I'm making decisions on what direction to go to accomplish the best result.